Today on the podcast:
Chris is the host of the Modern Wisdom podcast, owns an events company in the UK and is a life coach who specialises in helping people to get more out of life.
His platforms talk about how to live a good life, finding your purpose, maximising human performance, productivity, fitness and psychology.
His passion lies in learning about himself and the world around him. Today’s episode was a very enjoyable conversation that focuses heavy on the mindset side of things.
- 03:28 Chris’s background and how he became a life coach
- 06:46 How to find your purpose and the things that light you up inside
- 10:15 Are you an introvert or do your friends just suck?
- 15:24 Letting go of “friends” that make your life actively worse
- 18:21 Why you don’t value most people’s opinions—you just fear their criticism
- 24:27 Building the “stadium floor mindset” and how this can make you impervious to negativity and hate
- 27:12 The biggest thing that Chris has changed his mind about
- 32:27 What Chris is currently trying to unlearn
- 38:14 How to achieve growth and goals while stopping yourself from being driven by desire and expectations
- 43:28 The best advice that Chris has ever received
- 47:23 What Chris wants his tombstone to say
- Finding your purpose, quite obviously, is not an overnight process. Many find it elusive and don’t even know where to start. Chris gives us the very first step in uncovering your purpose, and that’s by asking yourself: “Do I look forward to getting out of bed every morning?” If not, you’re probably heading in the wrong direction. Seek out other voices, whether in podcast/video form (i.e. Jordan Peterson) or face-to-face support. Once you can easily answer the question, “What do I want to want?” (writing down your ideal life is an excellent practice), you’re on your way.
- When it comes to choosing your circle of friends, given the choice between honesty and acceptability, you need to choose honesty. As social creatures, we naturally desire to be accepted in our group, even if we have to put on a persona—or at least restrict what we say or who we are—just to maintain our place in the circle. As quickly as possible, find a way to cut out those “friends” that make your life actively worse and find new ones with whom you can truly be yourself so that you get empowered to become the person you really desire to be.
- Don’t focus solely on the goals you want to achieve because most people will burn out or lose interest along the way, especially if it’s a long-term goal. Instead, set a goal and define it well, then immediately put your energy into the day-to-day, week-to-week process that will get you to that goal. “Your outcomes in life,” says Chris, “are a lagging measure of your daily habits.” This applies to every aspect of life, from fitness to finances to education. Detach your sense of being from the achievement of the goal and find fulfilment in the journey.
Powerful Quotes by Chris
- Between honesty within the group, and acceptability within the group, most people choose the latter.
- The quicker that you can let go of people that do not make you a better person, and find people that do, the quicker you will be happier.
- Don’t cut out friends that don’t add any value. Rather, cut out friends that actively make your life worse.
- The professional is the person that shows up for work—early. The amateur is the one who shows up when he feels like it.
- The choice in life is becoming aware of our mental afflictions or becoming ruled by them.
- Your outcomes in life are a lagging measure of your daily habits.
- The persona cannot receive love. It can only receive praise.