Today on the podcast:
Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality and the host of the longest-running sexual wellness podcast Sex with Emily. She is also the best-selling author of the book Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight.
Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives.
Her candid conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives.
Warning: This podcast is content of an adult nature.
This is a very wide-ranging conversation around all things sex (for single people and those in relationships) but here are some of thing things we talked about in today’s podcast:
Episode Outline
- 04:18 How Emily got her doctorate in human sexuality
- 06:49 Why “pleasure is our birthright”
- 09:09 The demographic of Emily’s audience on her podcast
- 11:02 The benefits of scheduling sex and keeping the “honeymoon vibes” alive
- 13:09 Why do we get defensive when it comes to having conversations around sex?
- 15:14 The advice that most commonly gets quoted from Emily’s book
- 16:39 The benefits of scheduling sex
- 19:21 How to get out of your head and deal with anxiety around or during sex
- 23:47 “When we heal ourselves sexually, we heal so many other parts of our life.”
- 26:03 Faking orgasms and why exploring your body is the key to finding what you like
- 28:24 Removing the shame around masturbation for females
- 32:22 What Emily wishes she had known before having sex for the first time
- 33:27 The biggest sex-related misconception and one thing that Emily has changed her mind about over time
- 35:23 Threesomes, anal sex, and how to explore conversations around fantasies
- 40:58 A question that Emily wishes she were asked more
- 42:57 Becoming comfortable with anal sex
- 44:48 Emily’s recommended resources
- 47:16 One Instagram post that Emily would want everyone to see
- 48:03 What Emily is most excited about right now
Key Points
- Pleasure is our birthright, and it goes beyond sex. We should be deliberately setting aside time everyday to go toward those things that give us pleasure. For one reason or another, there are times when we feel the need to stifle or numb pleasurable feelings. In the context of sex, this is one of the big reasons many topics have become taboo, and why many men and women find having these conversations with their partners very uncomfortable.
- A lot of people believe that scheduling sex is the least sexy thing you can do because it just seems like another task instead of being spontaneous. But the whole point of scheduling sex is that everyone is so busy nowadays that everything is prioritized before sex. Before we know it, days, or even weeks, go by and nothing happens. By having sex scheduled, you incentivize yourself to prepare for it and make it worthwhile for both partners.
- “When we heal ourselves sexually, we heal so many other parts of our life.” Many people look at sex as an “outlier”. Physical, mental, and spiritual health are all the rage now, and sexual health is like the “bastard child” of the wellness industry. On the extreme end, some people have experienced sexual assault. For most others, there is low self-esteem around one’s sex life. Once we come to terms with these “underlying roadblocks” to a healthy sex life—perhaps via therapy, other times by simply having open conversations with our partner about sex—other areas of our life improve, such as having boosts in our immune system, serotonin, and other feel-good hormones.
Powerful Quotes by Emily
- My mission in life was to get people to prioritize their pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. […] We should talk about sex like we talk about the weather. There should be no shame in your sex game.
- Our basic human need is that we all want pleasure.
- You can’t do all the heavy lifting yourself. There have to be two people to make a healthy, satisfying sexual relationship.
- If you experience anxiety in your life, you’ll probably experience anxiety in the bedroom.
- As women, we need to learn our own bodies. We need to become experts in our own pleasure and our own bodies, and that starts with masturbation.
- ommunication is a lubrication.
Guest info
Dr. Emily Morse
Doctor of Human Sexuality
Doctor of Human Sexuality, Emily Morse, is on a mission to liberate the conversation about sex and pleasure. Over the last 15 years, Morse’s work has made her the best-selling author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, a pioneering MasterClass instructor on Sex and Communication, live SiriusXM radio host and executive producer and host of the #1 Sexuality podcast on iTunes, Sex With Emily.