Today on the podcast:

Today’s podcast is another solo “press record and talk” episode.

I often make notes on my phone that remind me of the things I need to stay focused on. These are the ones I’ve been using for the past several months so I wanted to share them today (alongside some stories to go alongside each). I hope it helps.

Episode Outline

  • 05:29 Happiness is never owned, only rented and that rent is due every day (dealing with anxiety)
  • 14:39 If you’re not happy with a coffee, you won’t be happy with a boat (don’t wish to have more, wish to desire less)
  • 26:41 That what you most need is where you least want to look (insecurity and self-worth)
  • 34:18 Don’t ask a fish who discovered water i.e. if you are too close to a situation, you can’t see it for what it really is.
  • 43:56 It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react that counts (dealing with sh*t times)
  • 54:59 There are no bad days just character building days (reframing negative into positive)
  • 1:01:14 Avoid sunk costs (what would you do right now if you didn’t think how much effort, time or money you put into something)

Key Points

  • Beware the I’ll be happy when… fallacy. Happiness isn’t a destination; nor is it a goal to be achieved purely via negativa—subtracting elements from your life. That’s important; but, what’s more important is to focus on adding to your life what’s important to you. Also, don’t confuse happiness with pleasure: The former comes with long-term fulfillment, while the latter lacks true meaning and purpose, but instead is nothing more than a temporary “high”.
  • When you really struggle with something, you’ll normally do everything to avoid dealing with that particular issue. This is especially true when it comes to your self-esteem. It may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but it’s vital that you come to terms with your ego-driven beliefs, and then from there speak to someone you trust, even if it’s a professional, in order to truly see where your gaps and shortcomings are, and improve from that point on.
  • You won’t be able to control about 99% of the situations that you face. What you can control is how you choose to see it. You control how you frame it, and you control the label you put on the situation (whether it’s a “good” or “bad” situation). You won’t necessarily get what you want, but you’ll always get what you need. Every “failure”, whether it’s a business venture or a diet, is really just a source of feedback on what can be done better next time.

Powerful Quotes by Brian

  • The things that you think make you feel happy, satisfied, and fulfilled, aren’t always necessarily the things that, at face value, will do that.
  • We tend to relive traumas because they’re familiar regardless of whether they’re supportive or not.
  • “That relationship was a failure.” “That job or business venture was a failure.” “That diet was a failure.” “That training program was a failure.” Instead, reframe it as, “That’s feedback on what didn’t work.” And it gives me new information and data to potentially make a better decision going forward.
  • How you react is more important than what happens to you.
  • Most fear around change comes from a lack of data.

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