Today on the podcast:
Michelle Chalfant is a licensed therapist, integrated life coach, author and speaker.
She is also the host of the Podcast The Adult Chair Podcast where she helps people to become emotionally healthy adults.
The Adult Chair model is an integrated approach that will help you recognize how all of your life experiences have shaped you — and then use that awareness to regain control, discover your most authentic self and transform your life!
By looking at all of the parts that make up who we are today, we are able to gain greater awareness of why we do what we do, identify conscious and unconscious wounds that hold us back and transform the way these wounds
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Here are some of the things we talked about in today’s show:
Episode Outline
- 05:24 Michelle’s path to becoming a licensed therapist
- 08:44 An overview of The Child, Adolescent, and Adult Chair model
- 14:19 Not letting your “adolescent self” run your relationships or career choices
- 19:30 Why our triggers are a gift
- 25:37 Making friends with that negative or mean inner voice
- 30:18 The importance of inner child work
- 34:41 The false self-overlay and how it stops you connecting to your true self
- 41:14 The barriers to developing self-love and how you need to learn the lessons about how to actually do it
Key Points
- The Adult Chair model teaches us how to become emotionally healthy adults. It’s easy to find ourselves growing up just fine physically, but fall behind internally: We’re reactive, victim-minded, and constantly criticize every move we make. The model is broken down into three distinct phases: The Child Chair (0-6 years), in which our emotional makeup first takes shape; The Adolescent Chair (7-24), in which the ego tempts us to numb out and mold ourselves according to the standards of others; The Adult Chair (25-99+), in which we live in the moment, in full consciousness, respond versus react, and fully own our reality.
- “Parts Work” is a powerful way to uproot the substances or activities that serve as our emotional coping mechanisms, whether it be alcohol, drugs, or even working out or a set of unconscious beliefs. When we go into the topics that we avoid, that scare us, we’re transformed. Connected with this is “Trigger Work”, where we face the source of our limiting self-beliefs head-on, observing them objectively, to diminish at least a bit of their negative effects. Face those triggers again and again until, eventually, they cease to trigger you at all.
- We’re great at praising others, but not so much at praising ourselves. We have to learn how to go back to the self, and oftentimes we can only do this when we spend time alone. Sit in nature and just learn how to be. Try journaling. Unplug and get to know who you are and your desires rather than what you think others want of you. Always respond with a simple “thank you” when you receive a compliment.
Powerful Quotes by Michelle
- The child is the true self. We’re all born with this beautiful spark, this pure essence of who we are.
- It’s hard for us to see who we are. Other people can absolutely reflect our beautiful qualities. But we have to make the decision to let that compliment land.
- The biggest barrier to developing self-love is that we don’t know how to love ourselves. You have to get to know yourself.
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